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Techniques for Effective Communications

Non-Directive Approach

There are numerous strategies that a mentor can use to more effectively communicate with her mentee.  One method that has proven to be especially effective redirects interaction to the mentee, thereby and she will responsible for identifying her own conflicts, clarify her own feelings, and ultimately determine her own values. This non-directive approach asks mentors to refrain from offering directive/controlling advice or opinions so that the mentee will assume an equal or even leading role in the relationship.  One of the key values to this strategy is that the mentee is given the freedom to self-expression without being judged.

Open Questions

To the extent possible, the mentor should also refrain from discussion that may be perceived as an interrogation. Likewise, too many questions and questions that can illicit “yes” or “no” response will likely not foster further communication. As a general rule, the mentor should ask open ended questions that deliberately require longer answers.

As a note, open questions allow the mentee to express themselves. One word responses should be reserved for true/false inquires, and/or matter of fact (and one direction) discussion. Open questions have the following characteristics: (1) they ask the respondent to think and reflect; (2) they allow the respondent to offer their feelings and opinion; and (3) they hand control of the conversation to the respondent. Examples:

  • What did you do over the weekend?

  • How did you learn to concentrate so well?

  • What matters concern you?

  • Why is that so important to you?

  • What are your plans for Tuesday?

As a general rule, you want to find out more about a person; including their plans, desires, challenges, etc. In addition, you want the mentee to realize the limitations of bad ideas and the limitless possibilities associated with positive thoughts and actions. You also want the mentee to realize that you care about them. As such, you want them to feel good about spending time with you and asking about their health and overall well being. One measure of real success will be when your mentee begins to ask you questions.

Paraphrase

Another technique that mentors can employ is paraphrasing, or restating your mentee’s ideas using both her specific words as well as your own. Paraphrasing allows for clarification of spoken words, understanding of the mentee, as well as the seeds for further conversation.

Problem Solving Skills

Having good problem solving skills can make a huge difference in a mentee’s successful transition. Problems are at the center of what many people experience every day.  Supporting those who need to address problems can be a daunting and complex task. Much of what mentee’s face might be a matter of confidence. Research notes that being a confident problem solver is an important component to success.  As such, confidence comes from having a process to use when approaching a problem. Without having a process, ineffective solutions may evolve.  Four basic steps to solving a problem:

  • Define the problem

  • Generate alternatives

  • Evaluate and selecting alternatives

  • Implementing solutions

A key to good problem solving is to ensure that you address the real issue, as opposed to the symptoms.  Reduce the problem to determining the root cause, how it effects the individual, implications for future interventions, layers of complexities, etc. The problem might also be addressed through more training or addressing matters directly (versus indirectly) or talking through issues.  In general research address problems as follows:

  1. Focus on the solution rather than the problem: Fine tune the specific problem so you are not distracted but insignificant matters. Focus on solutions rather than the problem. Allow yourself to not think about what went wrong or whose fault it is. Solutions arise from your confidence and mastery of all matters.

  2. Keep an open mind: Try to keep an open mind and consider all possibilities. Boost creative thinking. Few solutions are bad, but write down some ideas. Brainstorm with a trusted friend and then seek persons who may have some expertise about the matter.

  3. View Mentee challenges in a neutral manner: When challenges will not render the mentee too vulnerable, get feedback from others. Ask for possible solutions. Approach challenges objectively, as opposed to them being personal problems.

  4. Change your perspective: Try to change your approach and find different ways to look at matters. Consider the end goals and/or even consider different objectives. Look for a solution that starts with the end and work backwards.

  5. Use techniques that create possibilities: Avoid closed or negative language. Instead employ creative approaches to achieving tasks, including allowing for secondary or alternative considerations and/or possibilities.

  6. Simplify matters: Remove the details and reduce the matter to the essential or basics.

DCPC Thumbnail Guidance for Mentor Communications

  1. We suggest the following steps:

  2. 1. Build rapport.

  3. 2. Set clear expectations about the relationship and encourage communication, as well as, mentee feedback.

  4. 3. Be authentic and candid.

  5. 4. Focus on the strengths of your mentee, as well as thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors (not personality).

  6. 5. Ask questions and provide regular supportive, non-judgmental feedback.

  7. 6. Make sure that the feedback you are providing is meeting the specific needs of the mentee. Ask: “Was this feedback helpful? In what ways?”

  8. 7. Encourage both practical as well as, out-of-the-box solutions to challenges. Consider “time factors,” as well as short and long consequences when discussing options.

  9. 8. Make constructive comments. 

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 Check your binder for even more tips.

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